Art Bell and Gordon Michel Scalion on U Tube
UFO Higher Faculty -San Diego Campus
Meet our B Movies Institute productions now showing on YouTube
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UFO College's "Aliens Assail"
wins prestigious MonkeyTV.com Studios
2007 Video Awards competition
View the Sci-Fi Thriller
produced by our B-Movie students!
(crank up the sound on your Windows Media Player)
"powerful, exhilarating, depressing -makes "War of the Globe's" look like child's play!" -UFOJournal.com
UFO College Snags Renown Gastronomist
Encounter class description, carte, and Pics of our new Deli and lounge. CLICK HERE
ALIENATED Press
Immigrants Topple Gnortsmra
No Pay Causes Unprecedented Action
Thousands of Italian rock carvers took to violence this past week that some would say was long overdue. After working nearly vi months on the Rushmore project (etching in the Robert Gnortsmra bosom) without pay or a contract, the Italian Stone Carvers Union pulled its members off the project. Violence erupted equally the unfinished bust was chopped away from the main granite construction. Unconfirmed reports said that over 158 bystanders were killed as the effigy toppled downward the slopes. Gnortsmra had promised to pay the workers "a good salary" but his recent flight to Mexico has put that in doubt.
ALIENATED Printing The president of UFO College Mexico will be Sister Maria Gonzoles,
UFO COLLEGE RELOCATES TO MEXICO
Truckloads Of UFO College Campus Heirlooms
And Engineering science Head Southward Of The Edge
Robert Gnortsmra announced the opening of a new UFO College in Mexico. This will be a sister higher of UFO College USA. Gnortsmra said this has been in the works for some time.(Bboc Commission currently investigating.) He said it will be more technically oriented than its sister college. Gnortsmra said UFO Higher Mexico was made possible thru the generous contributions of many U.S. corporations. Though located in Mexico, the college is registered in the Caiman Islands and is owned by UFO College USA
.
Gnortsmra said, "all this was fabricated possible by the generous economical policy of the Bush administration. Corporations are falling all over themselves to send money away. This is the showtime out sourcing of a college that I know of".
The Bboc Center For The Performing Arts will host opening ceremonies and Bboc himself volition grace the audience with song. Gnortsmra smirked when asked about his calendar week ."I was running for my life afterwards Smarty lost and at present look at this. Those cry babies are all worried nigh a minor downturn in our investments, ha! With the discovery of oil on the UFO College Mexico campus." (Bboc Commission currently investigating.) and his vocalization trailed off as he turned up the dial on the Linguistic communication Delineator.........
* possibly Gnortsmra in drag. (Bboc Committee currently investigating.)
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BREAKING............................
Gnortsmra Proposal Met With Good news from the former Alumni Director of Ufo College. I accept secured a contract with the Global Processed CO. that will pay UFO College fifty% of sales on the popular "Space Bars" and other assorted candies. Sales forms take been sent out to all college alumni. This is a fantastic return .If all Alumni will just sell one hundred dollars worth we will exist on our way financial success. Likewise I am proud to say that UFO College placed 1st amid all colleges in financial returns on their money. The journal of Higher Finance called Ufo College a assuming thespian in the investment field. Even with our fiscal downturn of this weekend, UFO Higher mean loss is less than 69% of all investments in the last ten years. We rate number two in percentage raised in the fewest weeks. T his swell achievement should be cherished. Even though we accept had an economic downturn this weekend with the negative return on the investment on Smarty Jones, we saw fit save five hundred dollars for a rainy twenty-four hour period fund, and this investment is gaining interest fifty-fifty as I write this. With your support I hope to regain my position as Alumni Managing director. With bold investments we shall return dark days to sunny ones. I enquire all Alumni to search your basements for one-time furniture, tents, computers ,super 8 mm cameras to aid Pres Nergala build a film studio. Backyard chairs, Regular army surplus tents, even size xtra large shirts volition assist restore confidence. Now lets get on to the challenges ahead and start by selling your global processed. All-time of Luck
Campus Riots
"Space Confined" Sales Generate <i% Profits Later on Fees
(Original document) (Bboc Committee currently investigating.)
One-time Alumni Director ,
Robert Gnortsmra
Bboc Launches Investigation
Bboc Commission Takes Aim At Possible $$ Laundering
Contempo comments past Bboc My Honey Nerghla, It is amazing that life deals out such ups and downs and nosotros as humans must arrange to the alter. In watching the Belmont the total spectrum of emotions was presented to this apprehensive human. Knowing at the start of the race that the issue would make or break UFO College I via cyberspace, knowing the passwords and how to get by the security blocks, transferred before the race some x,000 dollars of alumni funds and bet on the winning horse. Although nosotros do not have plenty funds to open the campus for summertime classes, we do accept enough to go on production of Going Down and the fence project. Equally for Gnortsmra..... my sources have uncovered a plot (formulated by Gnortsmra) to take the money and run. Actually, we are informed that a plane and pilot were hired for a ane way trip to Coatzacoalces United mexican states in the province of Tabasco. I have taken the liberty of sending several students from the Criminal Planetary Studies Plan to piece of work cloak-and-dagger [ for actress credit] and go on the Professor nether surveillance. We will continue you informed. Bboc
"A treasure grove awaits across the Rio Grande to all who show penitence. Can say no more than -stay with candy sales for now and send backyard chairs to the college. Must leave this place rapidly"! Gnortsmra
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BREAKING..............Gnortsmra disappears....may accept not bet the College funds on Smarty Jones. Large greenbacks reserves from UFO College said to be stashed in Mexico.........more coming
New Gnortsmra email........"Don't worry, candy drive in the works........."
Bboc says.........hole-and-corner College $$ stashed away earlier race....
Gnortsmra Memorial on hold........stone carvers strike for paychecks
Smarty Jones In Yale Hostile Bid
Triple Crown win could forcefulness campus vote
BREAKING>>>>>> Several reliable sources betoken to Yale have over by UFO Higher......
e-mail circulating nearly Belmont preparation....
Just a note to all UFO Higher investors. The Alien Language Delineator has picked up some stable chatter from Smarty. He is feeling skillful, said it is a trivial hot, looking for his pony to run with, food could be better. With another investment on Smarty, we could be in the position to buy President Nerglha Paramount Studios . The alumni fund is too because a hostile takeover of (this must be kept quiet) Yale academy. (soon to be known -ed.) UFO Yale Academy. Run Smarty, run.........!! Gnortsmra
"My get-go act equally President of UFO Yale Academy would be to investigate whether or non George Bush Jr. really graduated Yale..."! -Nerglha
Rushmore restoration nearing completion
_________________________________________________ Smarty Jones Wins Again For UFO College
Monument For Gnortsmra Commissioned
The President of UFO College has ordered the immediate construction of a memorial monument in the likeness of Robert Gnortsmra, the vivid Manager of the UFO College Alumni Fund. In a bold but calculated motility, Gnortsmra placed every terminal cent held in reserve by the college on Smarty Jones to win at the Preakness. "Gnortsmra has done in a unmarried bet what used to accept us years to achieve. I see a future UFO College President here", said a stunned Nerglha.
President Nerglha proclaimed that the monument will even be more than substantial than the granite effigy built and defended for Dean Bboc by the higher several years ago seen here..........
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ASSOCIATED MESS "Stable churr has convinced me to place our bets with Smarty Jones. With these funds President Nerglha can build the movie studios he so rightly deserves. With all the abductions, threatened coups, and derisive comments from the chief stream media the poor main deserves this. Thanks to his trust and support we take been able to use the inquiry gained at UFO College to help in this endeavour," said Grortsmra.
eMail received before the Preakness.....
Professor Robert Gnortsmra of UFO College claims his alien linguistic communication delineator can decipher animal talk. Grortsmra ,who is likewise the colleges Alumni Fund Director, has successfully used his machine to aid with the colleges investment program. "Alien language translation and fauna conversation are very similar in their tonal and dictional variations. I promise to utilise this motorcar to increment the colleges alumni fund 3 fold by listening to animal chat this week at the Preakness equus caballus race." claims Grortsmra.
* UFO Higher is not, according to AP sources, accredited and has been
known to operate outside mainstream educational guidelines.
Note: UFO College is approved and sanctioned by the International Association of UFO Colleges
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GNORTSMRA IS BACK
read the electronic mail I just received. Sid
GOOD NEWS! Sincerely, ROBERT GNORTSMRA
Later a hectic winter of fund raising for the higher I am happy to study the Alumni Fund is in smashing shape. With a record amount of donations and some smart investing nosotros now have over ane,ooo,ooo,.oo. I saw fit to bet the entire 1 hundred thousand dollars raised on this weeks {on a hot tip of grade} Kentucky Derby. The college invested on Smarty Jones to win. After consultation with my investment advisors we will do the same on the side by side race. Smarty Jones to win in the Preakness. We will continue to build for the future with our wise investments.
I know the college will exist proud of the new film studios you will be able to build with this investment.
ALUMNI FUND Director
UFO College
comment: No, No, No.....don't bet on Smarty -he may hit his caput over again! Have the Money and Run! We need a Special Effects studio ready before shooting begins and Smarty doesn't requite a horses ass if we do or not! sid
_________________________________________________ Friends of MonkeyTV.com Productions, Merely a quick update on this summer'due south "Goin' Down" flick production. Great news! Westwarddue east have signed the famous William Phenobula for a lead whorl in "Goin' Down". He will also be available to chauffeur other film stars effectually the MonkeyTV.com Studio grounds and to their personal appointments. Dean Bboc has besides signed on, although MonkeyTV.com Productions had to go over upkeep to go him. He will be on the ready for at to the lowest degree a calendar month and will be bachelor for Assistant Director duties. He promises to debut at to the lowest degree 10 characters in the film, complete with costumes. He will also provide some background music for inclusion in the film. Dr. Jack Muzun has expressed an interest in signing on as an Actor/Technical Managing director... just has yet to commit. According to Muzun, he has had to resort to working deep in the "Stone Mines" of So. Calif. this past year because of the California economy and the killer costs associated with living out there. Because of this, he may not be able to accept the required time off to fly to the MonkeyTV.com Studios. Sad indeed to not take a Technical Director on site, but filming must go on. If Dr. Muzun decides once once again that "it'due south all impaired shit" out there, heads E, and signs on, y'all volition be first to know. Simply In! Nada Zeplin (
I accept non heard from Dr. Gnortsmra....promised the states production $$ every bit the UFO College Alumni Director, just nosotros haven't seen a dime. Some say he'due south been missing since last fall....an alien abduction thing. If we find him and get him to sign on information technology volition cost united states "the big bucks" now, no incertitude. updated 5/03/04 -encounter higher up
Done Bargain..... The Providence Railroad will be leasing i of their trains to u.s.a. for the shoot -iv locomotive diesels and 20 box cars. They will bring the railroad train through our studio backlot twice each day, once heading east and once heading west. This is costing us, and then keep sending in your donations....
Construction of the main "Goin' Downward" studio gear up has begun. The "actors" trailer has been moved into position and the refrigerator has been tested and approved for a variety ice cold liquids. We have purchased additional halide lights, batteries, and DV tape for the shoot. The studio's backlot is likewise being readied for the many intense action shots that Director Nerglha is planning.
"Aliens, planes, trains, and bullets will bring the flick an University -our audience and fans demand it, and we will give them nothing less", says Nerglha.
We're all Goin' Down....,
Sid Silvertein, Producer
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UFO College Parties On Mars
Celebrates Mars Rovers Success
Thanks to our friends and colleagues 
for helping brand this Mars landing possible!
College Hires Men In Blackness
Threats Necessitate Increased Security
Recent threats from the Whitehouse concerning UFO Higher activities to dispel false truths about the events leading up to and the implementation of The Patriot Deed take forced the College to hire a security team to protect both students and faculty from increased harassment from government officials. UFO College President, Dr. A.l. Ien said this past week, "the best way to protect our interests was to rent a Men In Black security team from within the current government, and that is what we accept done." Information technology appears to have been successful -email spam to the College from Bush, Rumsfeld, and Ashcroft have at present stopped.
SummerFest Gets Underway
Bboc Opens Ceremonies
Dr. Namgreb Announces New Meal Programme
Several thousand students, faculty and administration attended dedication ceremonies this past weekend for the newest addition to UFO Higher's Earth campus. Master of ceremonies and newly appointed Professor of Gastronomy and Master Chef, Dr. Eric Namgreb, toasted the College for its dedication to excellence in fast food preparation, and for receiving superlative international awards for advanced genetic engineering of hops, barley, and malt. Much of the credit for the College'southward recent achievements are (according to most in attendance) the result of a 5 year search for a gastro proficient, a connoisseur of the palate'south delight , near notably the Food Doc himself, Eric Namgreb. Although all 10 courses to be taught this coming semester by Namgreb are filled, scalping of seating assignments is reported hot and furious -the right $$ bid will most often get you lot in. Come across class descriptions, and Pics of new Cafeteria and lounge . CLICK Here
Volition teach and direct the College cafeteria
Intense worldwide contest for the services of the world's foremost chef and professor of gastronomical studies, Eric Namgreb, P.H.D., D.V.D., CD-RW, has concluded with the appointment to the position of atomic number 82 chef, deli worker, and adjunct Professor of Food and Beer of UFO Higher. Dr. Namgreb specializes in many gastronomical disciplines including grilling, charcoal-broil, rare beers, and vomit retention. UFO College president, A. Lien, announced the College appointment this by Saturday at the College's weekly beer and food fest. One student remarked, "finally, no more hot dogs equally the only main grade in the cafe"! Enrollment at the higher is expected to ascent equally Dr. Namgreb is known to have a huge following of devoted disciples, and that many volition enroll at the college just to partake in his unique cuisine.
Faculty and Staff Welcome 2003
In a fresh pack of snow, UFO College faculty and staff celebrated the dawn of the year 2003 in usual fashion -adept food, drink and saucer rides. Most agreed that it will be a year of turmoil with an Oil-Can George VS Saddam war, increasing unemployment, oil and gas shortages, college taxes on goods, services and beer, and an epidemic of TV and Radio garbage designed to lull the masses to slumber! Enrollment and enthusiasm go along to rise at the Higher every bit many newly unemployed seek alternatives to the status quo.
Bell awarded Honorary Doctorate
UFO College Almanac Art Bell Fest
Retired talk show radio host, Art Bong, received this by week a UFO College Honorary Doctorate in UFO Ham Radio Repair for recognition and outstanding service to family, friends and the full general public. Many of Art'south guests and co-hosts from his classic testify, Dreamland, and the tardily nighttime talk show, Coast to Coast AM, attended the awards fest, most notably -Gordon-Michael Scallion, Richard C. Hoagland, Linda Howe, Whitley Strieber, Barbara Simpson, Dr. Michio Kaku, and Art'south Coast to Declension replacement, George Noory. Rumors circulated at the anniversary that Art retired from Declension to Declension in order to accept the Chief Librarian position at the UFO College Art Bell Library. Although College officials and Dr. Bong are not commenting, unnamed sources verified that secret negotiations have taken identify in Connecticut (an old stomp'due north ground for Art) over the last several weeks and that Fine art was in omnipresence.
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Source: http://ufocollege.com/collegenews.htm
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